Her Pandora’s Box

Dear sugarplum fairy,

Christmas & Preparation
How’s Christmas been for you, wonderful people? I never did realise the remarkable amount of friends i’ve made this year. And it became so ostensible only while i was out shopping for gifts almost exactly a week ago. Beating through the crowd of Christmas shoppers, i hadn’t got a shopping list this year and it was such an awful idea. I spent the entire few days, pushing through people, contemplating between items, struggling with the many shopping bags in my hand,  keeping track of my not-too-friendly budget for that-amount-of-gifts-to-get and of course, skipped wearing heels for a couple of days. I then spent ALL NIGHT wrapping gifts and writing my little wishes for all of them.

I’ve never been this busy preparing for Christmas but its been so much fun and I love getting crafty. I in turn, received an unimaginable amount of gifts myself and now my room is filled with very pretty bits and pieces with nowhere to go. I also ran straight into HMV to treat myself to a Christmas gift too. And that would be Amy Winehouse’s album. She is amazing and i’ve never felt the need to buy CDs especially when i spend most of my days and life downloading music but yes, to Amy Winehouse. You can’t betray that kind of talent, its ridiculous.

My Wish
It’s been lovely this year, i hope it was for all of you too. Merry Christmas, beautiful readers. From me, with all of my best wishes.

Hiatus
I would call my absence a very ‘eventful’ one. And i ‘ve learnt that i am demanding more and more peace and quiet now that i’ve grown older. I have little to no sympathy for the people who believe that i’ve given up the joy of youth folly only to become a more reserved, more boring Maria. Sometimes, no one knows what you’re up to and where you’re headed to but because you know it yourself, and because the people who truly matters know, then you needn’t ever give a fuck.

Da Paolo, Bar & Bistro
On the eve of Hari Raya Haji, all of us colleagues had an early Christmas lunch with my American boss who was flying home the day after. We had lunch at Da Paolo (linked), which i choose to recommend you guys to give that place a try. Its fine dining with a twist. Its alfresco yet classy, laid back yet sophisticated and the food is as Italian as it gets. I promise. Of course, it is NOT budget friendly. You can probably expect to spend hundred over bucks on a dinner for two. But for an occasion, why not?

New Year; 2008
I have been so busy getting prepared for the New Year and like always, thinking through my resolutions. This coming year, will be a prep year, of sorts. I am planning on a trip to the states to meet some university mentors and to see if this is what i truly want for myself. I could always skip the hassle and study locally.

But like the Dada-ist theorist, who said "domesticity is incompatible to one’s creativity and mental stimulation", I want it like that.

And of course, like every other year, i want to be a better person and perhaps, just perhaps, consider giving up my occasional smoking habits entirely. Hahaha.

I’m also experiencing sufficient paranoia from time to time for the fact that life is about to take the digit 1 away from me and present me with my new birthday gift this 2008, a two in the front. I’m turning 20. Am i ready? Are you ready?

Dear sugarplum fairy,

I met Yuki Nishimura on a hot August day in an office I wasn’t too familiar with. If it wasn’t her oriental eyes and immaculate fair skin, I wouldn’t have guessed she was Japanese. She carried a very light Japanese accent and spoke to me in English very fluently. Anyway, she was there for an interview and was clearly very nervous. I figured, a casual conversation would do her good. And it did.

It turned out that she nailed the job and on her first day, she was asking the people around about me and how she could get hold of me. She found me eventually and i thought it was terribly sweet of her. The saying’s right, the smallest deeds goes a long way.

Now, Yuki isn’t only Japanese. Despite her radiant skin and age defying good looks, Yuki is 34. She is also separated from her husband for some time now. We shocked each other with our age gap and has since denied it and became good friends anyway. If you could relate and understand one another then age isn’t ever a bother.

I asked Yuki one day, "Why Singapore?".

And she said, "Anywhere but Japan".

At 19, Yuki left her hometown and moved upstate Japan. She started living independantly and moved to UK by 21. The one dream that she truly ever owned was to move out and away from her home country. It was that feeling that drove her to thrive and make it somewhere. Anywhere but home.

She offered me all of her support and wise words and urged me to leap and satisfy the desire to leave Singapore. Over and over again, she tells me that I am still so young, I can do whatever i wish.

I have everything here. Yet, there is a luring force from the world outside of this border that has forced me to surrender.

The night before i turned 18, i entered a vacuumed shell that i have created for myself at the peak of imagination. I dwelled into the months that i have been just a year younger and finally decided that i no longer wanted to be here. So to date, this city which i call home, is still a lacklustre.

It scares Yasin how determined i sound when i speak to him about the consistent progress that i have been making from all the research i’ve been engaged in. From countries to states to schools to courses to fees to lodging and everything else.

He is reluctant for me to leave but he knows too well that however far i wander, i’ll always come back to seek him. And he wants only to see that i am happy and that i’ve gripped the dreams i ever so often share with him. My folks, have been thrilled and so supportive of the idea, throughout. My wonderful parents.

I’m praying that things will work out. And even if it doesn’t, i have nothing to lose. Everything and everyone i love, is still here afterall. In the ‘fierce and roaring’ lion city.

Dear sugarplum fairy,

I was wondering to myself, how could the most generous sponsor, who gave an oppurtunity to create a charitable gig also took away the purest essence of it.

The performers did a great job. They were amazing.. Every single one of them. I can never thank them more.

I am proud of my host and I have in no way at all, regretted that i chose him to host my event. He is beyond wonderful and is extremely talented. Thus, I am disallowing anyone to claim otherwise.

World Vision collected a very encouraging amount of donation, which, will aid children facing HIV in Ethiopia. And i said to myself, "How could you, Maria, be so selfish and give up helping these children?"

So maybe i had a fall, scratched my knee a little bit and got upset. But I am not incapable of standing up and continue walking. If you work hard for something you believe so much in, then you are engaged in a meaningful pursuit. You should never lose faith.

So i won’t.

In fact, with all that i’ve learnt from here, i’ve moved on and i’m already thinking about my next one.

So whose going to stop me now?

The question is, if you could save lives, would you not?

I’m on my two feet now and i’m walking already. Towards that same direction i’ve first set myself to. I’m never turning around to walk home.

Because I always get what i want. So you’ll be seeing another, soon.