Her Pandora’s Box

Dear sugarplum fairy,

I am not the nicest person i know; when i am pinched with rage.

Ask around.

My little brother has grown up to be my bestfriend, my irritant and now my dancer. Some years ago, i saw that he was going to grow up to not only be a computer psycho but his skin would’ve been pigmented yellow from the lack of sunlight from too much staying at home. And with his rigid ways, i never knew he would ever: Dance. Not up until i heard he came 2nd for the B-boy battle. Not up until i saw him on stage. Not up until he was dancing to Disco with me at the Mr. and Miss Retro contest (and we came in 1st). Not up until he wants to be part of my dance project, now.

Back then, my dad was breakdancing and my mom believes she was once "dance diva".

So today, their two kids just wants a piece of that dance legacy.

Dear sugarplum fairy,

Lately i’ve noticed a difference in myself, surfacing. I seem to be mellow and very much reserved. My extroverted nature has tempered down by a truck lot. Most times, i kick off giggly, tickly and chirpy. However, towards the end of the hour, i’ll get back into the zone and start closing in deep into myself. Lately, i have been sensitive, fatigued, unhappy and feeling ALONE.

Pretty typical.

Back tracking: The dinner with Yas and my family went better than well. My chicken turned out awesome, dad was such a sweetheart to Yasin, my brother was being a great host and companion to Yasin, Mom made a to-die-for cauliflower cheese. I loved it.

Lasalle SIA Dance Faculty: FUCKED-UP system. It is designed to fail. It is a waste of time. The agony is far too ironic. Though, you don’t have a choice. You want its papers.

I’ve a busted shin and i’ve been walking around with nude-coloured tape taped around my ankles up to support my high arch. According to my physiotherapist, due to the structure of my feet, jumping alot would exert too much pressure onto my toes thus affecting my shin. And it seemed like only yesterday i was whining about getting over and done with school and touring with Madonna by 22. Hah!

Hello Wade Robson. We are coming for you and we are coming with gusto.

Dear sugarplum fairy,

Many thanks to Kikin and Arin for the free invites. We had a hell of a time Zouk-ing the night away. Thanks to Zouk for the 1-for-1 promotion. Nice way to start the night. Thanks Samantha for the non-stop action on the dancefloor, for being there, for everything. Love you babe. Thanks Spike for being a great sport last night. Thanks to Yas’s friends for being so easy on everything. Thanks to Muhammad Yasin, who took very good care of me last night while i was, well, sky-high. Thank god i met you.

To Arin,

Though we didn’t arrive in time to catch you battling the other DJs out, there’ll be another DMC next year. And you’ll be battling the crap out of the rest IN THE FINALS. All hail Arin for braving it out last night.

Tomorrow, i’ll be up early to go grocery shopping. I’ll be preparing dinner the entire afternoon. Overwhelming excitement.

Dear sugarplum fairy,

I’ve spontaneously organized a dinner party for the family; and a guest. Oh, no special someone in particular, just the usual friend of family, ehem-ehem, if graced by god, family to the family. I should quit hurricane-ing bullshit and swoop down to the point. So here goes..

For the first, OFFICIAL time, i am inviting my sweet Muhammad Yasin to come have dinner with the family. Introduction to dad shall be the appetizer. Heh. But they’re both too much alike, therefore i do not sense harm in getting them to conversate and get to know each other better. What exactly is the occasion you ask? Quite frankly, no special occasion. Lately, my fingers have been aching to cook some big meal for the family. Just a little get together since i’ve been busy with whatever’s left in my life. I have had discussed it with mom and she’s pretty excited about it.

What most people don’t know about me: i can cook and i love it. I’m just lazy most days. Of course, i’ve never had my hands try Asam Pedas or Laksa. However, i do have my "signature-haha" dishes. That, you’d have to come by and find out for yourself.

Mind Boggle:

Appetizer:

potato salad or regular salad?

Main course:

honey baked chicken or roasted chicken with vegetable stuffings?

Side:

baked potatoes or brocoli cheese?

Dessert:

Some help?

"Dah sudahlah tu Maria.. Ape kate kau masak air?"

Dear Arin’s God Of Rock,

I overspent. As always, i can never budget myself. Especially when the end-of-season sale is EVERYWHERE, you are in no good shape to fight the forces of evil.

In a couple of hours, i’ll be off to watch a contemporary Gamelan concert and to write a concert report. Lately, we’ve been attending Gamelan classes and its aim is to learn from working as an ensemble. And i, have been overly obsessed with my instrument: the Saron.

[The picture feels rewarding, bravo Maria.]

Remember:

Shoulders down

lift your chin

engage your stomache muscles

relax your rib cage

feel your inner thigh muscle strengthening

point your toes HARD

check your posture

tuck in your tail bone.

Now stand in position. Don’t fidget.

Only now, you are ready.

So you think you can Dance?

Dear sugarplum fairy,

I have big plans for myself. Big big plans for myself. The drawing line will only be my discipline. Self-discipline. I am in no position to boast about being self-driven because i am not. Trying, not happening.

Next summer, Canada awaits me. A whole month of intensive dance programs. The school promises a variety of dance and the best dance teachers. Speaking of which, i have already read their impressive dance history. If all goes well and gets better, i will also spend a week in Los Angeles before that doing a full week dance workshop with ‘You Got Served’ choreographer, Dave Scott. That is if all goes well, insyallah.

Thursday, i will be busying myself around the performing arts block with a camera and ‘dance faculty’s so-called photo-journalist’ written all over my forehead. Life is spiralling up into a climax. Contradicting as when juxtaposed to what it was like the week before the series of unfortunate and abrasive events that occured a fortnight ago. All that mishaps, only made me stronger. Lizzie’s right.

Sometimes, i just refuse to believe i can be pretty amazing.