Her Pandora’s Box

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Call me stupid if you must but this much is enough- of pretending that i am alright just the way i am. You call it obsession, while i, a mere perception of ‘comfort’. And as above, you may call me an idiot for i have no care. We are all unique and this is me in your face, frank and fat. Cheers to them, those who can live with it. I am envious but pardon me, its quite an ordeal to be someone else. Hopefully, this will change one fine day. But no, not today nor tomorrow and the weeks ahead. I am too awkward in this flesh and I sure don’t want to hear your talks about beauty beyond skin deep because i, for one, believe in it just as blood to religion- which unfortunately equates to my being equivalent of a mad cow and no less. Just leave me be darlings and please, put the goddamn food away.

This is for me because i need it.

By any means necessary.

So please leave me alone. I thank you in advance.

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Remnants of the office,

   

My morning walks to work/ the office/ the not-very-rad desk/ my usual cuppa and my Kokeshi from Yuki/ more me-ish stuff/ people i love, splashed all over my desk: Yas, Yuki & Maarten, the girls and papa. I don’t have Sam, mom and my brother up on the board but they’re not to be excluded.

Lastly, of course, my inspiration board. It’s got Yuki’s sakura patch for me from Japan, Audrey’s ‘You Are Beautiful’ sticker for Valentine’s Day two years ago and just about everything i love. Or everyone, rather?

On my last day at work, i sent an informal email with small shoutouts to everyone, i think special people deserve special mention but whether it was appropriate or not, i couldn’t be very bothered. I was showered with gifts, wishes, wise words and hugs. Thank you, I am touched beyond words.

I’ll miss that place.

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Won’t update right now, probably on the morrow. Meanwhile, look what we (me + salina) made this afternoon! My favourite chinese dish, Sze Chuan Chicken.

Time in the office is over and today is a fruitful day at home made of,

fasting (which i love)/outstanding documents for post/trip to the supermart for soymilk & some groceries/a to-do list for the next two weeks/outdated pictures uploaded/5 x prayers/tried two new recipes/checked out a couple of bands/evening cafe quiet time with Yas.

It’s been perfect, thank you.

Squeezed for time. Happy fasting/ramadhan my muslim friends!

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

I have been so busy.

Not feeling too chatty today so i’ll make this spotty (i hope).

Last Saturday, i went to watch Jimmy’s band, as mentioned in my post. My first encounter with LAFF after about 4 years or so. This time around, they’ve matured so tremendously much: musically. Just my candid opinion though. Also, the vox (mamat) ups three points for showmanship while maintaining his drug addict, never-sober look. Very nice. Well done, you guys.

I should’ve known that there was a hiphop showcase concurrently happening that day. Well, it was.. interesting? T’was pouring and dark outside yet i spotted a few dudes in shades. So as you can guess, i was frowning a lot. That aside, i met a number of friends which definitely made my day. Good to see you people!

On tuesday, the gang went over to Izy’s gorgeous, double-storey apartment (where she lives alone, argh!) for Coco’s birthday. We had so much fun. Food, drinks, music, sing-alongs and the best people in the world. You lovelies are drugs. Happy birthday Coco!

Okay, here’s breaking the news..

I can’t believe that it’s happening. Now that it’s in place, i’m all ‘mixed feelings’ about it. Knowing that all plans will change and my life is about to reshuffle, i’m a little panicked already.

So, I got accepted. So, I am moving out at 21. So, I’m going to make a home for myself in a foreign land. So, i’m going to study what i love. So, my dream came true.

Then of course, there is love. Leaving everyone i love so much behind. It pains me already.

Love is in Singapore. And I have never loved Singapore.

So i guess, it’s going to be goodbye in a little less than year. We make sacrifices, we don’t regret, we move on and we emerge victorious?

We’ll see.

Enjoy the rain while it lasts, everybody!

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

It’s been a wet few weeks and oh i love the rain. Off the sub this morning, i met with the crying sky that bathed the city in the softest blue, the ground glistening like it was littered with glitters. I wished for a pretty morning and was not disappointed today.

And these days my mind is clotted and i have been unhappy brooding over a cobweb of scattered nothing. In an anomalous twist of events, there is spinning confusion and i am feeling sick to my stomach. The problem is, the problem in itself. I should best perhaps explain. But first a question. With so many choices that the modern orbiting world churns and still at it, i continue to wonder what good it brings. Today’s people appear more flustered than ever. Is there destiny with this luxury of choice? I could’ve drowned myself silly in this locomotive of nonsense. What are these thoughts for anyway? I am struggling to survive these brutally killing riddles, one irrelevant to the next, that needn’t even be answered to begin with. But what an idiot i am to be indenial. Thus, the consequences as such. In emptiness comes the uninvited company of madness.

I have been tailing my mind for it is not in harmony with my heart, what more my soul. Perhaps, some help. They say those drugs won’t do. Where is the key, what is the hinderence, who is the keeper? And what, oh just what is the problem? Close to nothing. So what is an answer to.. nothing? And how do you escape NOTHING?

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Sorry i’ve been absent. Thought i’d spent every last minute of my week away from the office as best as i can which works out to be ridiculously unproductive. I did, however, manage to put a third of my to-do list in place and that’s the only good bit so far. Ahh yes, also working on a top secret project which is tormenting to hold back and not tell you guys until its a-okay to. More of that when it comes. How’re you wherever you’re at?

I haven’t forgotten about my wedding posts though. In fact, i just had a phone conversation with an old friend who asked if i’d give her a hand with her bestfriend’s wedding. I choked with delight. Said she read my post on Elizabeth Messina’s dashing photography and digged my finds. Okay, maybe just one, for now.

I don’t know about even dipping a pinky into the wedding because to begin with, i’m just a blogger! Instead, i agreed to spill all the yummy websites and finds as i go about blogging.

And so without further ado. I second Abby Larson’s statement that a great invite makes waves of excitement and anticipation for that big day. Wedding invites should remain no less.

These are incredible, by the way.

Lift-ticket inspired.

I really like the silhoutte idea for this one.

Matching envelopes.

A whole lot more that you can do with that wedding invitation, just get wildly creative. And just so you know, i found these goodies and plenty more great stuff over at Abby’s excellent website, Style Me Pretty.

Wishing you a good night’s sleep (just as i need it).

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Yas called to say he’s taking me out for a nice dinner. The dude has his way with words and nice dinners tend to mean expensive ones. Not that i’m rejecting his nice surprise, i’m beaming. But the thought’s priceless already, the splurge takes the backseat. Big time.

Can i share something? Well i think that any date out can be nice even with the smallest budget. Think take-away by the beach! All you need is a mat, a snuggly sweater and maybe 10-15 bucks for your takeout. On an even smaller budget, prepare yummy treats from home.

Its golden, always a trick on squeezed finances. By the beach at night is nothing less than romantic and that sets the mood for just about any conversation/quiet time/etc. You could also get a leg up by getting creative. Perhaps candles, a picnic basket, whatever. Go try it.

p.s I wouldn’t mind Mcdonald’s hotcakes in bed later this morning. Eeek! Does that not sound sooo good?

Moving on.

Further to my last entry, I’ll also be missing Death Cab For Cutie in a couple of hours. How smashing.

Now, i did mention i was going to do a series of wedding posts. So recently i started with a little research on wedding photography since i can’t come to terms with the ones existing and look what i found! The magnificent, Elizabeth Messina. Go see her amazing works!

Pictures by Elizabeth Messina via Glamour This!

Remember guys, its not the camera, its not the location, its not the editing, its not anything BUT the eye behind the camera. The photographer’s eye for details, the creativity and the ideas.

But again these days, anyone with an expensive camera is a photographer. Oddly enough the more advanced your equipment, the more ‘talented’ you appear. Hmm.. its way interesting.

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

How’d the weekends go?

I am crushed I couldn’t watch Envy perform at the Esplanade. It’s hard to tell if they’ll ever be back. Everyone’s talking about it and it’s breaking my heart.

Oh and get this, i just got word from my precious Jimmy about LAFF’s comeback performance coming our way after a long halt. Discount of two bucks for the brave souls who come cross-dressed! Eeek. I’m chuckling at the idea already. But i wonder why the theme?

Moving on, Aaron’s birthday’s just round the bend and seemingly an addition to the bee line of events that i’m headed for. Yay! He’s celebrating it lavishly at the Blu Jazz Cafe with the theme: Mafia. This will be so good considering it’d be just us, the entire space and of course, the whole buzz of dressing up. Pfft, i am such a sucker for theme parties.

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

Oh thank god it’s Friday. I barely had a wink last night and i’m paying the price right now (at noon!). Bad news. I am about to rant.

I’m pretty pissed with my maternal relatives at this moment. No, just kidding, i’m pissed with them all the time. My mother’s weird family of about 14 (i think), has this ridiculous and disgusting tradition of being competitive over each other’s… WEDDING.

But first, I’ll help you with a brief introduction about my standing in this absurd family. I am perceived, in their eyes, as a person who has lost all of her roots and tradition. This amounts to a great deal of nasty remarks being thrown back and forth about how gross i am as a malay/muslim girl. For some reason, its become so overwhelming THAT i have an aunt or two who hasn’t spoken to me in years. Actually, just one. Have a think about it.

So being this worthless person that i am as compared the their highness in the form of tshirt wearing and malay dancing beliefs, i only have one theory about weddings. A person (whether or not you like or dislike, no matter the distance in relation) is getting married, be happy for them. Bless the couple with your best wishes and prayers.

VERSUS

"How can her wedding decor be nicer than mine?"
"Argh, they’re just showing off."
"If they’re doing this, i want to do something better for my wedding."
"Oh the ring is so expensive! Who does she think she is? A princess?"

Now that i’ve said it, try imagining how all that sounds in MALAY. Pretty damn awful ain’t it?

But oh well, what would i know about the malay tradition hey?

My response to all that funk is: what-the-fuck.

So the question is, will they ever be happy for the newly weds? Never, not a chance.

To wrap everything up, I am using this very angry post as an excuse to kick start a series of entries on all things ‘wedding’. So stick around folks.

Dear Sugarplum Fairy,

I just had two fat kentucky fried chicken and a large whip potato to go along. To be honest, i would trade it for a plate of nasi padang anytime. Hot green tea works really well for me after a heavy lunch and that’s exactly what i’m sipping on right now. What’s for lunch?

Anyway, i’m working with the bastard movement on a number of projects. More specifically, another charity event. This time round we’re inviting a few malaysian bands to perform, one of which i’m crossing my fingers would be: Bittersweet. Eeek! I loooove them. Pray for us.

I found these crazy but gorgeous houses over at Jennifer Ramos’ blog. I looove her site and of course, her little Etsy shop.

Too pretty!

Enjoy the rest of today everyone.